Mike Smith’s Giro d’Italia!!
26th- 30th May 26th- 30th May 2004
A Mike-less cycle race around the Parc Naturel Regional du Haut Languedoc in France!
2004 Team Leader (in absentia)
Mike
‘The Cluttons’ - professionals (won't race for less than 20 notes)
Brian, Sheila
‘The Gluttons’ - Corinthians (race for pride and points alone)
K1, K2, Dave, JR, Frank
A Less than Thrilling Account
The following rules were obeyed to the letter:
NO problems with planes
NO problems with bike boxes – hiring or storing
NO major mechanical breakdowns
NO reckless riding
NO crashes or scrapes
NO out-of-control downhill racing
NO excessive drinking
NO overeating
NO undereating and consequent bonking
NO hangovers
NO heinous public flatulence
NO seriously uncivilised behaviour
NO raucous noise in bars (except during Babyfoot)
NO public nudity in lakes
That all makes for a relaxing and hassle-free tour; however, this is not the raw material for a blockbusting narrative. The Hollywood call is not anticipated.
| Top male professional – 20 Euro: | Brian |
| Best female cyclist – 10 Euro: | Sheila (as always) |
| Stand-in Team Leader | JR |
| Organisation and general usefulness | Sheila/Brian/JR |
| Best young cyclist | Frank (as always) |
| Oldest cyclist | K1 (as always) |
| Best at surprise sprints: | Dave |
| Best long breakaways | K2 |
| Top hill climber | Frank |
| Logistics and consistent riding | JR |
| Most reckless downhill | Dave |
| Risking all without a helmet | Frank |
| Least stylish cycling socks | JR |
| ‘Crusty old git’ old pedal award | K1 |
| Loudest babyfoot goal celebrations | Dave |
plus many other awards even more trivial to mention.
And finally the team leader……
Mike Smith’s Journey into the Lower Palaeozoic
Where was our mentor in absentia? Mike was reputed to be in Nebraska collecting fossilised rats for the local (sic) museum in Charleston; consult a map of the USA to illuminate this statement. Just prior to our tour BBC News reported tornadoes sweeping through and a declaration of a state of emergency in Nebraska. Mike is invited to contribute his account right here……………..
….and so to Next Year – Le Tour 2005
….when JR will officially join the ‘old gits’ and, no doubt, organise a trip to somewhere exotic that will probably end up being in France.