Kingston & Surbiton Pub Review 2007

Recommended
Beer

After the well-merited golf humiliation, it was a relief to see that the Waggon was an adults-only zone.  Dave had been receiving counselling from a group of motivational sports psychologists based at his squash club; after a 13-dart winning first game he never looked back and went on to be the MVP based on his own good finishing; for some reason he was forgetting his previous MVP in the Waggon on 28^th September!!  Presumably everybody else’s journey (including John’s impressive 39^th this year) was uneventful; about 500 m from home I was hit by a tempest (the proverbial light drizzle accompanied by a slight breeze) that forced a dismounting for safety reasons – fair punishment for some really appalling arrows from the ‘champion’!  The Waggon replaced the popular Bombardier with overrated Winter Warmer, and then that ran out! (KS) D-9, J-8, K1-7, K2-7

2007 review: a worrying year for arrowmen with three popular venues biting the (chalk) dust: The Lamb reopened as a comfy living room without darts; two years after the ludicrous decision to evict table football, Kellys finally succumbed to its fate and closed, to reopen surprisingly, but only as a dart-free restaurant (on principle, I wouldn’t eat their food if it were free); Woodies allegedly (needs to be checked) removed the dartboard as it was a Health and Safety issue for the external smoke zone punters.  For 2008, the New Prince has the feel of an endangered species and the Spring Grove suffers from crowd problems.  I have optimistic vibes for the Queens Head, not least because it actually advertises darts as one of it features; otherwise the Black Lion and smokeless Fox and Hounds are worth a check.  Maybe Bossog has moved on?  Inspiration needed or it could be Waggon/Wych/Waggon/Wych/Waggon. 

There are some rare evenings when you are pleased not see someone; the freezing fog and icy roads were not a sensible option for a safe ride from Gumshoe!  With some players just out of their sick beds and a very full pub the darts were surprisingly good in patches; maybe it was the artificial stimulants, but I was convinced that a 100+ finish was a certainty – misplaced optimism as usual.  The early lack of K2 in the Wych was again a bit of a mystery; surely he wasn’t investigating Woodies or the Maypole?  Eventually K2 turned up with G, B2 and B3 in tow; the scorer was thankful that all the B’s did not play arrows!  The evening finished with the convalescents beating the healthy pair in a doubles challenge – it’s the drugs of course!  A rather excellent evening demonstrating fully the medicinal qualities of good beer and conversation; furthermore, everybody skated home safely on foot and wheel.  (KS) K1-12, B1-8, D-4

For the climax of the season you pay good money to secure the services of a top Italian coach and then…. the first venue is unplayable ‘cos the crowd have invaded the pitch, and the backup venue is likewise unplayable as it is hosting an Antipodean tactics challenge match.  A very rare evening of intellectual conversation and no arrows; no sleepers this week but we shouldn’t risk making it a habit! (KS)

4 Star Rating
St Austell Armistice Ale (4.2%), Cottage Southern Bitter (3.7%), Chocolate Downton Orange Delight (5.8%), Fullers Vintage Ale (8.5%), Hogs Back HBB (3.7%), Surrey Hills Albury Drop (4.6%), Weltons Old Cocky (4.3%)

3 Star Rating
Ballards Wild (4.7%), Hampshire King Alfreds Bitter (3.8%), Hepworth & Co. Iron Horse (4.8%), Hepworth & Co. Propsect  Organic Ale (4.5%), Hop Back Odyssey Best Bitter (4%), Pilgrim Silver Sovereign (4.5%), Potbelly Beijing Black (4.4%), Shapes Doom Bar (4%), Weltons Ghost Buster (4.6%), Westerham 1965 (4.8%)

2 Star Rating
Cottage Normans Conquest MM (5%),  Dial's Pumpkin Ale (4.5%), Porter (4.1%), Grasshopper (3.8%)

1 Star Rating
Downton India Pale Ale (6.8%), England's Glory (4.2%)

The landlord probably doesn’t know it, but the Waggon has apparently introduced a ‘Club Class for Frequent Drinkers’; members may lay claim to various areas of the pub, especially if this prevents the despised infrequent drinkers having fun by, for example, playing darts.  Members also get automatic entry to the annual ‘Miserable Person of the Year’ competition.  After we had expelled the Club members, the arrows fell into its normal pattern of some excellent finishing (mainly Brian) and some games that went on for ever; it’s certainly more of a physical challenge with just 3 punters. (KS) B-10, K1-9, D-3

The Spring is firmly back in the fold; dartboard, ambience and excellent Bombardier Ale.  Thanks to Patrick for ‘blocking’ the dartboard prior to our arrival.  Dave brought along a new player ‘A’ on whom to try out his compassionate coaching methods.  ‘A’ looked good at the start – precise darts and a good action; two hours’ worth of Dave’s coaching and he was reduced to a nervous wreck bereft of confidence.  Dave also brought along a group of fans; with a welcome return of Malcolm and Holly this meant we were able to retain exclusive occupation of the public bar before a late appearance by Ian.  Despite another Brian bull finish, the darts standards were as low as ever with a televised U-21 international replacing crap music as the excuse for poor concentration. (KS) Scores:   B–7, K2-5,  K1-5,  D-4, J-4, A-1

Good to see the Owl and Eddie Ryan return to its roots.  In contrast to the Black Lion last week it had a fully serviceable dart board but no room to play – we could transfer the empty room from the Black Lion.  Don’t give up on the Queen’s Head; it has promise and Adnams Ales.  The Wych Elm was its normal self.  Following a warm-up of dominoes (what’s the rules?) and some tepid community singing the board was freed up.  Despite a local David Bailey competition and some quite extraordinary crowd noises, the arrows were surprisingly good; Brian got the score (3 No. 140s) for show whilst K2 got the doubles for dough. (KS)  Scores: K2–9, B-5, K1-5, D-5

A difficult night to concentrate!  Following a brief visit to the Black Lion, with an excellent empty dart room but no board, we were forced to hyperspace to the Waggon.  Concentration was then adversely affected by: dubious music, stuffy conditions, then fresh air and miserable gits who didn’t like it, a barmaid wearing two pairs of jeans, a late appearance by Sheila and finally watered chalk.  Dave overcame these conditions and, following earlier threats to quit the game, famously left as the evening’s champion player. (KS) Scores: D-7, K1-6, B-6, K2-5   

A surprising return of punters to the ‘Prince’, some with the volume control set to 11.  Hopefully the large crowd was not in response to an appearance by the one-and-only Billishears, the Prince’s answer to the Willoughby’s Bossog, the man that stopped the darts and cleared the room.  As for the worst moments in musical history Billishears’ rendering of ‘A Whiter Shade of Pale’ may well have trumped Bossog’s solo attempt at ‘A Fairy Tale of New York’ on a warm July evening.  Makes one nostalgic for Magic FM and the Carpenters.  Some darters were quite incapable of coping with the musical accompaniment; for example, Sheila did not trouble the scorers.  The beer was slow but fine. (KS) Scores:
 (K1-10, D-8, J-7, K2-4, B-3)

Fortunately Sheila pitched up for the second consecutive week to add some enthusiasm to generally tired and jaded darts.  Possibly the late start due to rugby and the presence of a crowd bemoaning the England performance affected focus; anyway, exciting it wasn’t!  However, the beer and pre-dart conversation were fine. (KS) Scores: B-6, K2-5, K1-5, S-4 (10 games in nearly 2 hours!)  

Some things to note:  John cycled up for the 10^th consecutive week after saying he wasn’t going to come!  The darts started late due to rugby and finished early due to Saturday ‘early starts’; Bombardier was drank dry for the 2^nd consecutive week; Brian had another raucously-celebrated bull finish.  Now, we’ve always known that a volume of quality beer enhances darts and that good music also has a beneficial effect.  So, what to think when your best darts are chucked to the sound of the Carpenters?!  For Bombardierlessness and very poor music the Waggon deserves a rare poor rating. (K1-5, K2-4, B-3, S-3, D-2, J-1) (KS)

Forget Lucca, Galicia and rock festivals – there’s only one place to be on a Friday night; the other two 9pm punters would confirm that the Waggon’s the scene.  There must be a special medal for John, cycling up for the first darts head-to-head of the season; completely knackering without the assistance of a professional chalker.  Among the normal dross there were some quite exciting arrows, especially after the excellent Bombardier calmed the nerves.  John had four consecutive treble 20s (5,60,60,60,60,20) and then finished with a double 5.  K1 had a 10-dart 301 and John a 12-darter.  Thrilling stuff, but a disappointingly low crowd (zero) to show their appreciation.  K1-14, JR-8)

Stop Press: 
It was worse than just a double 7. It was a 3-darter 60!  Treble 13, single 7, double 7.

A clear run and K1 gets off to a flying start, winning 5 games on trot (301’s). K2 finally gets him off and the fight back begins. JR then has a good run and I am trailing badly. The rapid turn around ensures the Pride flows and K2 seems to cope the best with a moving target (although not the following morning) . With a late surge. ( K1-11, JR-11, K2 -10) (KA)

After 30 minutes JR had practised his chalking skills but failed to trouble the scorer. Two hours later he was the top man following excellent all-round darts, some rapid finishing, a couple of 140s and a memorable 9-dart 301.  The Wych Elm crowd seemed more raucous than ever; at one stage there was a mini-riot in the loo; this could be the reason for the rapid consumption of Pride and the consequent improvement in darts play.  Again no photographic evidence, but I am confident the scores were, K1-11, K2-9, JR-11 (that’s right - 31 games of singles 301!). (KS)

Oh No, 2 punters on the board and they look useful. Chatted for a while and then K1 does his we’re not worthy act ( much to Brian’s annoyance) and offers his services as a chalker. Of course he proceeds to win his first game and we have a foot in the door. Actually things are quite good after that and we all manage to win games. It’s discovered that they are in the Waggon darts team but either we raise our game or drag them down to our level. The adrenaline flows when you aren’t playing mates and one actually concentrates. Brian scores a 180: the quietest ever (perhaps because Dave is away). I score 4 or 5 ton pluses. (B-4, K-3, K2 -3, JR-1) (KA)

After some idle chat re JR’s South African cycle racing we were forced to take on the captain and star player of the Waggon’s dart team at 501 singles.  As is normal we succeeded in raising our game and lowering theirs, resulting in some noteworthy wins and some generally creditable performances.  Brian got the most under-celebrated 180 ever (Dave definitely missed here), leaving JR as the last man to ‘hit the max.’, and confirming the Waggon as the ‘180 pub’.  No photographic evidence, but I believe the scores were B-4, K1-3, K2-3, JR-2.  There was a suggestion that treble points should be awarded for beating the Waggon, but this never came to fruition. (KS)